I seem to run out of day before I run out of ideas to do that day.

Is anyone else doing the post-New-Year-resolution walk of shame? Experts in this sort of thing say that the third Monday in January is the most depressing day of the year, and one reason for that is that by then many people have given up on any high-minded resolutions.

(Note: This year my birthday fell on that third Monday. I'd just as soon that January 21st not be the most depressing day of the year.)

I looked forward to welcoming 2013. I daydreamed a lot about making things. Creating. Ideas for notecards, collages, watercolors, table runners, throw pillows, all kinds of things bounced around.

I had been all but rubbing my hands in anticipation of diving into making stuff, having fun. I could picture it in my mind, how, come January 1, I'd be at my desk working up a storm, giddy with creative fervor.

Well.

Crap.

That hasn't exactly come to pass. Yet. I'm trying to help my future self out, really I am.

I can explain (cough cough make excuses cough cough). The first week of January we were still, incredibly, wonderfully Christmasing. The holidays are for family, and I happily put real life on hold to enjoy soaking up all that goodness.

The week before last was the first week back in school. We had meetings at church and meetings out of town. Then there was the snow.

Beginning last week my work load increased and suddenly we're more than halfway through the month. Laundry is piling up, my bedside table is getting junky again with books and empty water glasses, and worst, I'm doing what I really really truly did not want to do: letting time get away from me.

I listened to an Accidental Creative podcast* (episode titled Spending Yourself on 10/26/12) where they talked about that old adage about how no one ever said on his deathbed that he wishes he'd worked more. They say they think that's actually wrong. They think lots of people wished they'd spent it all. Used up all their creativity, their effort, their imagination, their gumption.

Yes, I thought. Yes! I shall spend it all! Make things! No more saving fabric and scrapbook supplies and cool things I come across because I don't want to "waste" them. Because I want to make something "good." I will be extravagant - fearless! - in the making of things!

Then I read 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think. The slightly off-putting title aside (I hate when something presumes something. I mean, how does she know how much time I have or don't? Of course, she's right but that's beside the point.) The book makes some good points: Basically, 1) Most people have way more time than they realize and 2) It's up to you and no one else to be the boss of your time. In other words, after work and sleep, you can pretty well decide what the essentials are. Then make plans and keep those plans to make sure you're doing what you want to do and not what's easy to do. Ergo, if hanging out with your kids more is a priority then don't pick up the smart phone and scroll through Twitter. Instead, hang out with your kids.

See how all that dovetails so nicely with what I heard on the podcast? It seems when I pay attention, just a little, I notice all the hints that God gives me. I just have to be aware.

Right about here is where I should tie all this up with a bow. Deep thoughts, introspection, lessons learned and heeded.

Well, no, not exactly. I'm more or less thinking out loud here. If you any of you have any deep thoughts to share, I'd love to hear them.



* The episode on 9/20/12 with the Austin Kleon interview, author of Steal Like an Artist, is excellent, too.