My Life In Earrings

What are these?


If they look like a set of tragedy and drama earrings that somebody, I can’t imagine who, may have worn in the mid to late 80s with an oversized shirt with huge tragedy and comedy masks, with a medley of pink and purple paint airbrushed in the background and accented with glitter puff paint with a set of matching leggings that had the same pink and purple and glitter puff paint down one leg that was actually an expensive getup from an upscale store at a Jackson, Miss., mall, well, you’d be right.

It’s a bird! It’s a . . . pink airplane?


I remember having these and thinking they looked fetching when teamed with a chambray shirt and tight-rolled Levis 501s. I don’t remember exactly where I got them. My dad is an ag pilot, which is the only thing I can say that may have prompted the purchase.

Look closer.



What you see is one of a pair of silver swan earrings. When I was in the 5th or 6th grade, I read this book called Dreams and Memories(They almost killed her, reads the subtitle), in which swans played a prominent role. This wasn’t your typical little YA book. I would have sneered at the idea, having outgrown them a whole year before. This here was sophisticated stuff, mind you – a mystery, a tall tower, a family secret, a mansion, a swan's cry, a tragedy. Plus the heroine on the cover had red hair and I so wanted to have red hair. For a while, swans were MY THING. When I'd see one at a park or a zoo or even on a TV commercial, I’d grow quiet and fancy that I had a contemplative, pensive look on my face, that everyone was looking at me and thinking, “Look at her. She’s really captivated by those swans.” I don’t know why I needed everybody to notice this but I did. Thus, the swan earrings. Which I have apparently lost one at some point. I probably took that as some dark portent.

Anchors aweigh!



Down south in the early to mid 80s, nautical-themed clothing was popular. I had a navy blue shirt with the naval-inspired collar and a little anchor in the center. I remember watching the Miss Teen USA pageant that year and the montage where they show all the contestants frolicking at an amusement park or what have you, all the contestants donned naval outfits. That stuff was all over department stores, so grown people who didn’t have pushy pageant types telling them what to wear were choosing to purchase and voluntarily walk around in these little tribute to military ensembles. I ask you: If you’re going to wear such a getup in navy blue and white, accented with the merest red strike, then what could possibly go better than a pair of red anchor earrings?

Shot through the heart and you’re to blame!


You’d probably better appreciate the fullness of their aweseomeness if I had taken a picture wearing these fetching little ear bobs rather than taking a shot of them reclining on my bed. These I almost remember buying. If memory serves, it was at this little shop in the Greenvile, Miss. Mall, called Brooks. It was sort of a small town, downscale rural mall version of Limited. Sorta. They had inexpensive, trendy clothes, and my favorite part? Three of those circular jewelry tower things that spin in the center of the store, under hot pink and turquoise bright lights. I spent ton ‘o time at those racks, spinning and you know, being discerning: Did I want a Pat Benatar look? Or was it more Belinda Carlisle? I remember distinctly a pair of earrings I bought there (with my own money and everything) that were purple hearts with silver dagger-like things hanging down. They were beyond cool. Sadly, they didn’t turn up so I have no photo of them.

Actually, if I were to be honest, I’d have to say that I was probably older, like in high school, when I bought these. I’m not proud of that, because not only did I buy them, I WORE them. Particularly on, say, Valentine’s Day, when paired with an oversized red sweater, sleeves pushed up, and a skinny black mini skirt. I have a sinking feeling I wore that exact outfit to class one Valentine’s Day when I was a freshman in college.

Any of you remember these?


Les you have forgotten, blocked it from your memory, or genuinely don’t know, these, my friends, are button covers. That’s right. You wore those little gems OVER the buttons that came with your shirt. The backs of these are configured with little thingies that slide over the buttons and snap on. I had several sets of button covers.

Including these:


It’s terrifying, I know. And I wore these! Like a lot during Octobers. I thought I looked really cute - and seasonal! - wearing them with that chambray shirt and the tight rolled Levis.